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November 22, 2020

Recognizing your mindset is the first step

My husband and I have been married for thirteen years, together for over fourteen.  When I met him, I noticed he would often wring his hands.  I noticed but never said anything.  I had no idea what that meant.

A few months into our relationship, I finally met his parents.  During our get-acquainted lunch together, I noticed his dad did the same thing.  Hum…interesting.  Still, I didn’t say anything.  I felt our relationship was still new, and I was still figuring things out.

I didn’t grow up worrying about anything.  Granted, I had the same money mindset challenges as most people.  “Money doesn’t grow on trees” and “Keep dreaming kid” were popular sayings in my house.  My mom would say those things and then shop and buy a lot of teddy bears and collectibles.  I have had to do a lot of work I have had to do to break that mindset.  So, I am not perfect.  However, I can’t say I had parents who were worriers.  And when I got to know my husband more, and also his parents, that’s what it was.  They were worriers.

How do you start to break through that?  Every move we made was attached to worry.  Not only was it heartbreaking to witness his pain and anxiety, but as a spouse, it affected me as well.  It permeated every conversation, and to be honest, even though it’s taken years of hard work, it can still happen when he is on the phone with them.

Recognizing and then helping my husband break through the attachment of worry took years.  It took years of knowing where it stemmed from and then either being able to stop it or course correct.  Often one phone call would derail his mindset and happiness for the day and sometimes longer.  Communication with him was key, as well as watching his nonverbals.  I listened to him, and we would work through it.  Sometimes it was days before he would acknowledge the conversation that put him in that state of mind.

It became frightening obvious when we were both laid off at the same time and decided to move to The Keys, starting over from scratch.  I realized I had to start paying attention to phone calls with his parents and be present afterward to deal with any backward steps that he may have taken regressing into worry mode.  It was tough and still can be a challenge over ten years later.  But, with a lot of practice, communication, and time, worrying has lessened, and he feels so much better.  Just like anything, we do the reps, continuing to work on our mindset.

I was working on my newsletter, which I finally had the time and courage to start in May.  Daily small steps in the right direction.  I wanted to kick off each month with a mantra.  I realize it’s not a super original idea, but you would be shocked at how many people still don’t use mantras, and they can be very beneficial.  I had been reflecting and realizing how at peace I am and decided to go with that vibe.  The mantra was, “I am at peace”.

How synchronistic then that I started reading a Richard Dotts book over that weekend called, Your Greatest Gift.  I have fallen in love with these shorter mindset and manifestation books by Richard Dotts.  There is always a great nugget, and his storytelling is relatable.  I didn’t know when I purchased the book what the Greatest Gift would be.  I just bought it because I read a few of his other books.  So, spoiler alert!  I come to learn than our greatest gift is peace.

Peace.  It’s something I think we take for granted or don’t even recognize at all.  That state of zero where you aren’t upset about anything but you are falling over laughing either.  It’s a calmness that things are OK and will work out.  I believe that since we both lost our jobs at the same time in 2009, I have a deep understanding that somehow things will be OK no matter how tough it seems.  It’s an inner peace that is with me.

In a simple example, yesterday, I was outside for fifteen minutes and watched the beautiful hummingbird fly around.  Nothing else crossed my mind, but to watch this bird fly around and eat.  I was also blessed with the delightful smells of the white lilac trees that are in bloom again.  I was at peace with this amazing world.

As I was reading this book, it opened my eyes to how often the word peace has been used but I think we take it for granted.

“Therefore, we do not worry about whether the source energy will know what your problems are and pinpoint them correctly in your life.  When you first get to a state of peace, you will be stepping aside and letting divinity do its magic through you.  The infinite intelligence of our Universe knows what needs to be done and does it to perfection every single time.”

Richard Dotts talks about not using affirmations to get into a state of peace, which isn’t quite aligned with my newsletter, but for someone that needs the help to start the process, affirmations can help along with taking deep breathes.

He originally started to recognize that he could get to his own state of peace by reading over and over two statements by Seth, who was channeled by Jane Roberts.

  1. Your point of power is in the present
  2. You create your own reality; there is no other way.

Finding statements that work for you and help you realize that you can change your state to peace is what is most important.

Not too long ago, I wrote an article about Ho’Oponopono, which is a mindset shift tool I use daily.  I didn’t realize there was also a prayer about peace.  The Peace of “I” prayer.

My Peace “I” give to you,

My Peace “I” leave with you,

Not the world’s peace but only My Peace

The Peace of “I”.

Beautiful.

May your days be filled with peace.